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commitment​-​free days

by katharine eastman

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Scott Lawlor
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commitment-free days 59:05
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long slow non-identical looping loops of gentle quiet tinkly keys - starting in a very slack lofi way on the floor here and then getting further mangled in the computer - but of course all distortions are deliberate and were planned many days in advance

towards the end of this piece the number of notes per cubic yard gradually increases - not to the piece's overall advantage. But then - who's going to listen to this piece for fifty-odd minutes ? - it's not for me to tell anyone how long to listen to any of my stuff - I'm happy to see the red Bandcamp stats showing people pressing "stop" in the same instant that they pressed "start" - just as I am happy to see smiling young people and imagine their ear buds full of my music 24/7 unto the grave. Just because my pieces are 59 minutes long doesn't mean they demand to be listened to for 59 minutes. They're not symphonies. Better 59 seconds of pleasure than 59 minutes of tedium. So please don't be embarrassed when you tell me that you've never been able to get to the end of any of my pieces. Nor have I. In fact, I've never even got to the start of some of them - exporting them unheard from Audacity once they have a pleasing shape with no glaring gaps - a shapely music in a shapely life. Nowadays none of us has enough time to listen to music - a brief passing glance is as much as any of us can give it - possibly a quick smile - maybe a smile in return - but full-on relationships are no longer possible.
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Saw Sebastian Plano at the Turner Sims last night. I wasn't expecting much. So no tears. It was just all so horrendously tasteful - it was "experimental" music that your mum would like, your daughter would like it too, your granddaughter would like it, your grandfather would like it, and your sister - the only person in your family who wouldn't like it is you. It is what I would sound like if I could play the cello and lived in London - or Berlin, Sebastian's hometown. So I am glad that I can't play the cello and that I live somewhere so uncool.

Obviously, like you, I've seen the odd cello in a charity shop and car-boot over the years, and wondered if I want it enough - isn't it the duty of every "experimental musician" to own such things ? - and okay, no I am not an "experimental musician" - I don't experiment - I just keep failing to make the piece of music that I'm trying to make, but sometimes accidentally make something that's not quite rubbish enough to be deleted just yet.

Sadly, like the monkey typing Shakespeare, one day I will accidentally make the piece of music I want to make - and when that day arrives I will have no further musical ambitions - and it will be then that the only thing left for me will be to "experiment" - and try to sound like someone who can't play their instrument - total lack-of-talent is the best talent to have. I do appreciate how lucky I am to be so musically inept.

There's a famous quote about Les Dawson and the way he used to mangle the piano - "it takes a lot of talent to play that badly". And when I am rich and famous and playing at the Turner Sims to all your politely applauding family except yourself, they will all say about me: "it took a lot of zero-talent to play that well". Ah none of it makes any sense - I should've stopped playing and writing after 59 seconds.
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(recorded yesterday afternoon, photo the sea wall between Lymington and Keyhaven a couple of days ago)
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released October 9, 2021

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